Review: C-REAL (feat. MBLAQ’s Thunder)–“No No No No No”

C-REAL and Thunder loosely recreate a few fairy tales. With bonus parrots.


Did you like the song?
Some of Kpop’s top producers came together to make an album, with the debut song by Brave Brothers and Choi Kap Won, the producer famous for discovering IU. Appropriately, the new group is nicknamed the “five member IU.” Their proper name is C-REAL, for the first letters of each of the members’ names (Chemi, ReDee, Effie, Ann J, and Lenny)—check out their site for more. Unfortunately, whenever I see C-REAL’s name I think of cereal. *facepalm*

Delicious, nutritious, and somehow also great at singing!

Effie (Jihoon), Ann J (Yeowoon), Chemi (Youngwon), ReDee (DaHee), and Lenny (Yoojin).
“No No No No No” has a pretty memorable chorus, but it’s too slow and cutesy for me. The melody kind of reminds me of Girl’s Day’s “Nothing Lasts Forever,” except that one is faster and better.

Also, is MBLAQ’s Thunder even featured in this song? If he is, he’s being relegated to background vocals, which I’m pretty sure is blasphemous in at least twelve religions.

(Top:) Leader Chemi, ReDee, Effie, (bottom:) Ann J, honorary member Thunder (Cheondung), and maknae Lenny.
What was your favorite part of the song?
I love ReDee’s “Every day and every night I think about you” line. It breaks up the sweetness of the verse and adds a little much-needed edginess.

Does the English make you want to rip your eardrums out?
The (Korean) lyrics of this song are actually very sad, about a girl who doesn’t want to break up with a guy who’s probably no good. I was sad when I read that although her friends tell her to break up with this douchebag, what can she do? She likes him more than her friends.

Anyway, the English is great (except Ann J’s, who unfortunately sings first). But ReDee sounds like a native.

Ann J, maknae Lenny, leader Chemi, ReDee, and Effie.
Did you like the video?
This music video features what I consider all of the elements of a Kpop music video—a memorable song, a basic storyline, a dance, and enough closeups that we can learn the members’ names. You would be surprised to find that most music videos are missing at least one those elements (usually the storyline). So I applaud C-REAL for including all the elements. That said, it’s not executed particularly well, and the video is pretty boring—despite having Thunder in it. I think it’s in large part due to the slow pace of the song, though.

Was there a storyline? If so, did it make sense?
C-REAL follow in the tradition of many intelligent but misunderstood young women to become EVIL WITCHES who watch hot guys in their crystal ball.

The Evil Maidens of the East!
Alas, Thunder falls prey to their trickery. They lure him into their mystical forest, where they spy on him from afar.

Hmm, mushrooms. Always a sign of Great Maleficence. That, or hobbits.
Thunder finds a collection of mysterious and ~suspicious~ pink feathers leading in a mysterious and ~suspicious~ trail to a creepy cottage in the woods.

Yup, sounds like a great plot to a horror movie so far.
Unlike Hansel and Gretel, though, Thunder has the good sense not to try to eat the house. He looks through the keyhole and sees the plotting witches, who notice him and cast a spell of great and terrible power to knock him out.

Thunder, you’re in major trouble now.
Okay, okay, I think everybody knows where this is going, and it’s gonna get nasty. The witches will drag him inside their lair, and then it’s pick your torture. Will Thunder be imprisoned, fattened up, and then eaten alive? Will his youth be sucked away by witches who want to stay forever young? Will they put him in a cauldron and use him for potions? Will they do horrible experiments on him until he begs for death? Oh, all the terrible things that could happen! Which one will they choose? *bites fingernails*

…

WTF?!
A freakin’ parrot?! They leave him a parrot that shatters into dust when he touches it? Is it horrible dust? Is it radioactive dust? THEY HAD ALL THOSE OPTIONS AND THEY CHOSE A HOLOGRAM OF A PARROT?!

I am so let down by this lame, G-rated ending that I can’t tell you. Who are they making this music video for, four-year-olds? I’ve babysat toddlers who watched edgier stuff than this. C-REAL are way more like IU than I originally thought.

At least it’s not the same damn parrot.
Was the dance cool and distinctive?
This dance is fairly simple—I think I could even do part of it! Clasp your hands behind your back and dance in a flirty way. The effect is to make the girls look even younger than they are (the youngest, Lenny, is 15).

Do the members look good?
The members act cute, but don’t take it too far, so it’s still pretty classy—similar to A Pink in their debut music video, “My My.”

Also, it’s fun to play member lookalikes, but this group makes it too easy. Ann J looks so much like 4minute’s Hyuna in “Mirror Mirror” that I found it kind of distracting.

(Back two:) Chemi, Effie, (front three:) ReDee, Lenny, and Ann J.
Which member stood out the most?
Although I think Ann J is the prettiest, Chemi stood out the most.

Chemi (Youngwon).
Do you like it enough to buy the song?
Nope, but I like other songs in the album—see below.

Any ending thoughts?
With such an impressive lineup of composers and producers, I recommend checking out the full album, Round One. Here’s the tracklist:

01. “Intro”
02. “No No No No No”
03. “No Thank U”—I like this one a lot.
04. “그러지 좀 마” (Don’t Be Like That)—This one is my favorite.
05. “뭐야 뭐야” (What What)
06. “내 남자친구에겐” (Especially To My Boyfriend)

Boyfriend’s one-liner:
“We’ve got a real budget for a debut video. I know what we’ll do—we’ll have a parrot disintegrate! That’ll keep ’em talking!”

Thanks for reading! Please share your comments below! :)